The world is bananas.  Completely and totally bananas. 

all this fear and anxiety is creeping in to everything.  you would think that this is the perfect time to create.  with so much emotion in the air, i should be able to bottle it and turn it into extraordinary paintings and objects with nothing but time on my hands. but, the truth is, like i keep the theme of identity and value in my work, i also struggle with the same feelings within myself.  many of you do not know that i work four different jobs in addition to trying to keep making art and trying to share myself in the beauty of the things i make, but without these jobs to keep me busy right now, i realize how much of the work i do is wrapped up in my own sense of who and how much i am.

i understand fully that eventually, all of this madness and uncertainty will fade back into some sort of “normal”.  like all things cyclical, there will eventually and inevitably come another up. i am sure that i will be able to put this into imagery, carve it into some forgotten piece of wood i use as a vehicle for this story, but at the moment, while i’m inspired and riddled with thoughts, i am also blocked from starting a piece of art. 

the starting is always the hardest part for me.  once i get going i can’t stop, can’t sleep, until what’s in my head is out.  but the starting, that initial first step in to my studio i love so dearly……it’s the hardest part of making.

as the corona virus dominates our news, our lives, our social media, our brain space, i will find the motivation i need to paint and put it all in paint.  what will the final piece or pieces be?  will they be beautiful in color and pattern and simplicity or will they be a chaotic overdone cluster of objects? i’m not sure my dear sqwarls. you will have to stay tuned to find out.

my real hope at this moment, is to not let the uncertainty diminish my humanity, and try to eventually channel it into some creativity.  my mentor once told me that “creativity is flipside of insanity” this would be a sorry time to forget it.

be safe sqwarls,